My inner child is a very unique flower. She holds the heart of a fearless explorer of the unknown, the hidden, the many places with an extensive history begging to be unearthed. She is a kind soul with a passion for understanding the outsiders, the outcasts and “weirdos” of society. Many times, she can empathize with them as she is no stranger to her own quirks, be it her mannerisms or her speech.
A lover of all things artistic, softly colored and cutesy, an advocate of the natural environment outside the many “concrete jungles” and suburban areas, a fanatic of the slow, simple and fulfilling life…
Yes. That is my inner child.
And I LOVE her with every inch of my beating heart.
But I’ve been ignoring or downright pushing her away for too long. So long that sometimes, she will let out little fits of anger, little tantrums at me choosing to subject myself to things I don’t like or tolerate. She lets me know that “No, this will not do. No, why are you allowing this? No, I don’t like it when you reject that. Why do you hesitate doing what you enjoy most? What’s holding you back? Why do you allow those people to treat you so horribly?”
“Why do you care so much about what other people think of your quirks and interests?”
My answer? I was afraid. I was insecure. I was terrified of displaying my interests out in public for fear of being judged, ridiculed or even downright hated. I cared too much about what others thought of me. It built me up into a cold person who created walls around my heart for protection.
But it was exhausting maintaining those walls. So one day, I tore them down. I decided that I was no longer going to neglect my inner child. I would set her free.
I started writing again. I started drawing again. I started collecting Beanie Babies and I even started bringing them with me to my various jobs (they’re great conversation starters). I picked up a camera of my choice and photographed for the enjoyment of capturing something on a roll of film. I got back into watching anime shows and movies. I read tons of manga that piped my interest. I resumed switching up my hair color because it was fun to go with something else depending on the occasion.
My inner child beamed with pride. She was proud of me for being brave. She was elated.
“Well done, miss. Be the person you were meant to be. Even if others don’t get it.”
Never neglect your inner child. Listen to him or her. Follow your interests. Practice your hobbies. Carve time out for yourself if you need it.
Because that child might be trying to tell you something about your true self.
le fleur artsy 